Good-bye Farrah,
Good-bye Michael,

Angel wings and
pop star king

My childhood ended
Only legends remain
songs and movies
the past 35 years

8-track to CD
AM to Satellite Radio
Zenith floor model to
wall mounted HD Flat Screen TV
5 channels to over 150
Beta Max to Blu-ray
Nixon to Obama

Charlie made his last call
the king sang his heart out

At home
watching CNN

(c) Knightengale 2009





I have to be honest and say I have had a real tough 2009 so far.

It started in June 2007, my father was diagnosed with terminal Liver Cancer. "6 months to a year" is what they said.
He passed away on December 23. So I traveled to MN for his funeral and to spend time with family.

After I returned back home, I found out my therapist had also passed away on January 2, 2008.

I carried on, put grieving aside to be strong for my partner, his sister and their family.

My partners father had been in a nursing home due to a massive stroke that left him speechless, increased dementia, and unable to have a quality of life he would have wanted. (It was his third stroke and the worst.)

On February 9, 2009, My, "adopted father-in-law", passed away.
(A co-worker, who became a good friend to me was also let go the same day.)



Needless to say, my health is a big concern right now. Not just physical, but also dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. They both seem to be connected from what I have been able to find out so far from my Dr.'s. The only thing is I can not afford all the test I should be having done. So it is picking and choosing what I can afford to have done. Medications alone are starting to become an outrageous expense.
I work in Non-Profit and Funding is not in a great place for us, and many other non-profits.

The more I go to the Dr., the more I get stressed, the more I get stressed, the more I have to see the Dr.

See the cycle here?


On top of that, I have not been getting any artwork done. I haven't had time to finish anything I started, and no time to start something that I could finish in a time frame that would satisfy that need to create.

Art, for me, is partly therapy. I started to get back into art after a period of years where I was "into the wrong crowd, and doing the wrong thing." But, I got back into it again in my middle teens, and have wanted to expand the idea of art therapy in non-clinical diagnosis, and replacement therapies for persons addicted to substances or other things they are having trouble trying to control in their lives.

I noticed that soon after starting my job last year, it was going to be a challenge to find a balance, between work and time for art. A year later, and only because I am being forced to reduce my hours, to try to make the time to get my health issues taken care of and get creative therapy back in my life. Not sure how it will all work out. I just know that it will.


On the sunnier side of life- I am looking forward to some time away with my partner for the 4th of July at the beach in SC. I really am getting ghostly!
Hopefully I will get some photos I can work with. I still need to get to last years travel pics!

So now that I have caught you all up, I hope everyone has a splendid summer if I don't see you around on here. Not sure how much time I will have to spend on DA these days, I do miss coming here and seeing what's new. But I gotta pay my bills too.

Damn- being grown up sucks!

Take it easy, smile and tell the ones you love, that they are special, and your life is complete because they are in it.

Ciao-
Love & Peace,

Tami